Ever been stuck in a rut and then feel overwhelmed when a friend suggests meeting up? It happens, it’s completely natural. When times are so tough that we cannot see past donning our Harry Potter pjs (don’t lie I know you have them) and binging Netflix til our eyes hurt, the thought of socialising is cast aside. Whilst taking some alone time is healthy, as human beings, we are sociable creatures. If you’re struggling to motivate yourself into socialising, here are a few ways you can push yourself (I know you can do this). May the odds be ever in your favour!
Leave Your Swamp
Home is safe. Home is where we go to hide when the going gets tough. Yet, after days or even weeks, our home can end up becoming an association with those bad feelings (you don’t even go here). Stepping outside the four walls can help detach these emotions, and allow you to be rid of your cabin fever.
Do you have a favourite café? Or a favourite walk? Go there! Take a friend or family member, and do something productive. Simple interactions, such buying a coffee, can be refreshing. A scenic walk will allow you to ponder on what was making you feel so shitty, whilst providing fresh air and health benefits. If you can find a way to leave your house, and gain some real human-to-human interaction, then you my friend, are taking a step in the right direction.
So you’re out of the house (good job!) and are with your nearest and dearest. It may be bit forward to start off your conversation with your woes, but it should be brought up. Think about it, these people are your tribe – they are here for you, and they want to know about your wellbeing (for more about valuable friendships, see my Friends, Romans, Countrymen post). A lot of us are our own worst enemies, so fleshing out your problems to your friends and family can help gain a different perspective on what’s going on. Take my friends for instance, often when I’m having doubts over something, they either listen and then give advice, or rip me to shreds about it (and I wouldn’t have it any other way).
Too Glam to Give a Damn
Remember those Harry Potter pjs we talked about earlier?…well I hate to tell you sunshine, but you cannot leave the house in those (if only for the smell). Making an effort in your appearance, can create a sense of security, as you stop worrying about what you look like (because you’re slaying it queen). If you ever feel like you’re too dressed up for an occasion, let me stop you right there. Unless you’re planning on wearing a Cinderella ballgown to a cinema date, then sweetie, you’re good to go. Who doesn’t love feeling like the fashionista in the room?
Even if you’re not the kinda person who likes to dress up, leaving the house in an outfit that you love, that’s comfortable, and easy to move around in, can make all the difference. Wash your face, style your hair, get dressed and put on a bit of makeup (not necessarily in that order), and you’ll be good to go (maybe a little deodorant to cover up that pj smell).
My Way or the Highway
Feeling the urge to go out and meet people? Wonderful! Make those arrangements, and if it will make you feel better, pick what you do. Whilst iceskating is a fun activity for some, if its not for you, suggest an alternative. Pick environments where YOU feel comfortable. When you feel safe, you feel relaxed and being relaxed with your friends will make the experience so much more enjoyable. Obviously, if your best mate would rather stick needles in their eyes than visit a museum, choose mutual ground. Perhaps there is a bar you both went to that was super chill, or maybe you’d love to have a debate about art – you can even invite them to your home (but maybe light a candle for the pj smell).
This is the riskiest suggestion in this list, and that is to say yes to every opportunity that comes your way. Any experience is a valuable experience, and they are there to take us out of our comfort zones. It could be that a friend has a ticket to go on a zipline and they couldn’t think of anyone better to share that experience with, that your darling self. Even if you hate the experience, at least you can hold your hands up and say “I didn’t like that at all”. I recently had an experience like this (boo scuba diving, you whore), and you can read more about it on my post: A Little Extra – Fear. You might even find that you LOVE the experience, and then look at you! You have found an experience you will remember for a lifetime and you shared it with someone you love. You’ll never know until you try, but if you really don’t feel like it, remember that you can always say no (for more, read my Saying No post).
Time to Go
Look at all that socialising we’ve done (its been fun, hasn’t it), but for introverts, the amount of time spent on socialising can lead to an energy drain. Running out of steam when you’ve been chatting about nonsense for hours happens to some people, and that’s okay. If you know you’re likely to experience this, a good idea is to acknowledge those feelings as soon as they crop up, and then politely go home. You’ll already be feeling better from your rendezvous, so don’t fret over it, your friends will understand and may even feel the same way. If you’re extroverted, you may never come across this problem – you can chat until the crack of sparrows and still have energy for more. Whilst this is fantastic, be mindful that your friends and family may not share this energy. Perhaps, setting a time for you to go home can help you control the flow of your energy.
If you have a tip for readers about how you push through your illness to be sociable, why not drop a comment directly on this post, or via social media. Earth, Mind & Fire is active on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter – click the links to add your voice.
Featured Image Credit 📷: Kelsey Chance