Self Care

Thank Me, Hater

Originally when I planned this post, my inspiration came from a blog post I read about minimalism. In that post (and no, I’m not going to link it here), the vitriol from this “minimalist” was mind-blowing. I’ll discuss this further in this post, but I want to express that this post is not just about dealing with confrontation, but also, letting go of negative people.

Back to the blog post I read…

I have realised that as a blogger, the best way for me to improve is by reading other people’s blogs. Think about it, it would be absurd for a science-fiction author to produce a novel about space, without ever reading any prior books about space. I decided to search for some tags on WordPress, and I found the whole experience insightful. Yet, nothing would be more educational, than the minimalism blog I read (jee wizz). Now, the message I believe this author was trying to convey was one about being a practical minimalist, and not an Instagram minimalist. I have experienced this when grazing through social media for an inspirational minimalist feed, only to come face-to-face with an account about minimalist aesthetics. However, the aggression in this author’s words was not useful. Berating the reader into a state of shame, and anxiety, does neither motivate them to discover the benefits of minimalism, or encourage them to feel comfortable for not being minimalist.

Photo Credit 📷: Priscilla Du Preez

Since being on the road to recovery, I have found that I am less receptive to negativity. Whereas before, I would wallow in the upset that others put to me, now, I am confident enough to accept what I cannot change and let those people slide right out of my brain (bye, bitch). Instead of feeling the hate from this author, I pitied them, for their anger is a transcript of the suffering in their life (and I will not shame them for that).

This brings me nicely onto my latest experience of negativity…the misogynist. Last time, I spoke about how my body positivity has been at an all time high and that I no longer treat makeup as a mask (if you missed this, here’s the link: Natural Beauty). Shortly after publishing that post, I received a heart-warming amount of support from friends and other bloggers (thank you!).

Photo Credit 📷: Kelly Sikkema

And then…there was the douchebag. I had one guy repost my content along with an incredibly misogynistic comment on why a woman should wear makeup for her man (they obviously didn’t read the whole “I am a lesbian” content I’ve got going on) and that men are the true paragons. I’m not going to harp on about it, because I wouldn’t want this guy to feel like he has won. If anything, his comment fired up even more support for my own, and other women’s body positivity.

Photo Credit 📷: John Bussell

Over on Instagram, I asked some of you what you do to overcome negativity and here are some responses:

  • Kill them with kindness
  • Spin some light on their hate
  • Be compassionate

It takes nothing to be kind, but it can cost to be cruel.

Stay safe, be kind, and I’ll see you next time

Featured Image Credit 📷: Gwendal Cottin

5 replies on “Thank Me, Hater”

I love the kill them with kindness quote, there is nothing better! Why people get so riled up about kindness and sharing nice comments i will never know, it’s like everyone needs to be critical 24/7 – NOPE! Lovely blog BTW can’t wait to read more!

Very good blog! Do you have any recommendations for aspiring writers?

I’m hoping to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything.
Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress
or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that
I’m totally overwhelmed .. Any recommendations? Thank

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