Mental Health

Surprise Anxiety

Do you ever feel that your anxiety comes out of the blue? Have you ever approached a familiar situation, and yet, suddenly feel like you’re out of control?

I feel that too.

In the past, I have written about the difference between anxiety and phobias (see ‘Fear‘), and have even discussed my worst experiences in ‘Anxiety 1: Jess 0‘.

Image Credit: Tim Mossholder

Hospital Epiphany

Let me tell you about an experience. A couple of weeks ago, I ended up in hospital (don’t worry, Miss Rona hasn’t gotten me). My stomach pain was horrendous and I couldn’t eat. As I laid there, surrounded by nurses, doctors (all of which were amazing) and my handsome IV bag, I distracted myself with Instagram. After scrolling through motivational fitness videos and reading about different approaches to being healthy, I reflected on my health. I fall into the healthy weight category for my height and age, and I eat a fairly balanced diet. However, I am the weakest person that I know. So, watching these women show strength, really began to motivate me.

Image Credit: Marcelo Leal

New Beginnings

Fast forward, and I have been looking for gyms to join. In order to find the best deal for my budget, I started playing the gym field (lil discount slut).

On the day I was due to have a walk-in appointment with a gym, my anxiety was through the roof.

I simply couldn’t understand why I was feeling this way. All I had to do was get dressed into gym gear, turn up and follow a friendly face around. Simple, right? Yet, an hour before I had to set off, I was overwhelmed with the familiar gut-wrenching feeling (either that, or my stomach is still angry with me). Whilst I have experienced driving anxiety in the past, I knew the way to this place without a map. I wasn’t running late and already knew what questions I wanted to ask. It did not make any sense.

And then, it did.

Image Credit: Emily Morter

The Real Epiphany

I realised that in all my motivation to be productive and healthy, I hadn’t been taking my medication for a few days. Also, I had been stressed at uni from trying to get hold of IT support. On top of that, I was putting pressure on myself to make the most of my day off, but also to tick off everything on my to-do list.

When I took a moment to reflect in that moment, it all made sense.

Sometimes, we don’t even realise how much we are putting ourselves through, until we are forced to come face to face with it. From now on, I want to make more of a conscious effort to take a breath, and focus on what is going on around me.

If you are struggling with your anxiety and urgently need help, please click on the link to find organisations that can help you (UK): link

Alternatively, I have a list of global helplines on my ‘Help‘ page.

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